


Please Don't Leave

by mythicait



Series: Rowcan Oneshots [5]
Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Homophobia, M/M, Military Homophobia, Military School, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:35:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22743364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythicait/pseuds/mythicait
Summary: Tumblr prompt: "i love you so much, ok? I love you." "don't leave, please don't go."Modern au, Rowan and Lorcan are at a military school for wayward boys and they've secretly been seeing each other.TW: homophobia, used the word fa***t and I feel sick about it so fair warningFor my love @nalgenewhore
Relationships: Lorcan Salvaterre/Rowan Whitethorn, Rowcan - Relationship, rorcan
Series: Rowcan Oneshots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1468663
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	Please Don't Leave

“Lorcan - ah - stop it. We really have to- have to go!”

Barely able to mutter the words, Rowan didn’t even have the strength to push him away. Instead, his fingers grasped the back of his boyfriend’s neck as Lorcan kissed him quiet. 

When Rowan was about to run out of air, Lorcan finally pulled back with a dark grin. “You don’t seem to be putting up much of a fight,” he taunted. 

Rowan glared at him. “We have assembly in” - he checked his watch - “two fucking minutes, asshole.” 

Sighing, Lorcan reached out to straighten Rowan’s once-crisp collar before dragging him forward for one last kiss.

“Well, I figured you’d be back here, but I didn’t think you’d be doing _this.”_

Rowan and Lorcan jumped away from each other at the sound of the sneering, hated voice. Wide eyed, they saw Cairn at the corner of the building, thankfully alone. The skinny teenager had a sneer that matched his voice and an evil light in his eyes as he dragged his gaze over the other two. 

“I should have known you two faggots-”

Caught off guard, it took Lorcan a minute to process what was happening. Fear and rage tangled inside him and when he glanced at Rowan he saw the same mix in his bright green eyes. Surging forward, Lorcan caught Cairn by the front of his shirt and slung him against the wall hard enough that the smaller teen squeaked, the slur dying in his throat. 

The rough stones of the building must be digging in and Lorcan took advantage of that, twisting his hand in Cairn’s shirt and shoving him back again when he struggled.

Leaning in, Lorcan let his expression go flat, the face that made most of the other boys at their military school give him a wide berth. He would have been pleased by the way Cairn looked like he was going to piss himself except for the situation they were in.

“You say one word about this, to anyone,” he whispered, “and I will personally cut your tiny dick off and feed it to you. Got it?”

Cairn tried to glare at him, but Lorcan shoved his fist up until he was putting pressure on his throat. It wasn’t until he started choking on his breaths that Cairn started nodding frantically. 

Lorcan dropped him unceremoniously and the boy scrambled to his feet, his hand wrapped protectively around his neck. He spat, “The headmistress is looking for you, Salvaterre. Better report in like the dog you are.” Message delivered, he fled towards the front of the building before Lorcan could hit him. 

In the sudden silence, Lorcan did his best to put a cork in the rage that made him want to hit the wall in front of him. 

When he didn’t think he would explode, he glanced over at his boyfriend for the first time since Cairn had spoken. Ice glittered in Rowan’s eyes but his hand was gentle where he reached out to touch one of Lorcan’s clenched fists. “He knows the Cadre will beat the shit out of him if he says anything, Lor. We’ll be fine.”

Lorcan let out a little grunt, aware that Rowan was trying to convince himself too. He reached out to brush his fingers against Rowan’s cheek. “I know we will be.”

And they would be. He wouldn’t let anything happen to Rowan. 

*

“Get up, Salvaterre.”

The voice jolted Lorcan out of a deep sleep and he fumbled to his feet. Drilled into his muscles, he automatically adopted a parade rest stance even as his mind struggled to catch up. 

Before him was one of the disciplinary officers. Dread welled up in him as the officer just glared at him for a moment more before he said, “Headmistress Maeve needs to see you in her office. Now.”

With that, he turned on his heel and marched his way out of the dorm to wait in the hallway. By now, the other five students in his room were awake and looking at Lorcan cautiously. Normally his friends would be scolding him but the students at the Doranelle Military Institute for Wayward Boys were not woken up in the middle of the night unless it was serious. 

Fenrys whispered, “What the fuck did you do, Lorcan?”

Lorcan just shook his head and he kept it down as he swiftly put on his standard cargos and shirt. As he tugged on his boots, he finally looked up to meet Rowan’s gaze. His heart skipped a beat and it didn’t slow as Rowan’s jaw clenched against the words he knew he wanted to say.

“It’ll be fine,” Lorcan whispered before he stood and strode out the door.

The officer was waiting for him and as he turned to lead Lorcan to the administrative wing, Lorcan saw the other boys peeking out of their rooms. A flash of blue caught his eye and he saw Cairn leaning against his doorway, an evil grin spreading across his face.

Fear blotted out every other thought in his head and all he wanted to do in that moment was smash Cairn’s teeth in until he couldn’t smile ever again. 

But the officer snapped his fingers at him and Lorcan turned to follow him instead.

When they reached the headmistress’s office, the officer knocked sharply then opened the door for Lorcan to go in alone. He hadn’t been in this office since his first day here, when the deceptively kind headmistress gave him the rundown of the school rules. 

Since then he had learned that she only used that disguise when there were parents in the room. And she definitely did not have that face on right now. 

Despite the late hour, she was dressed immaculately and she glared Lorcan down until he was standing in front of her desk. 

“I trust you know why you’re here, Mr. Salvaterre.” 

His mouth went dry as a bone and he had to cough before he answered, “No, ma’am.”

Headmistress Maeve’s lips curled in disgust. “A fellow student of yours said he caught you and one of your… friends in a compromising position.” She let that settle in the air while she watched him, though he refused to let any of his emotions show. “Now do you know?”

“Can I ask which of my classmates is spreading lies about me?” He knew, of course it was that rat, but if there was any way he could talk himself out of this-

“Oh, Lorcan,” she said and he jumped. The headmistress had leaned forward and rested her chin on her clasped hands and the smile she gave him chilled him to the bone. “Your classmate knows we don’t operate on rumors here so he made sure to get us a picture.”

Lorcan closed his eyes. They were fucked. 

But if they hadn’t called Rowan in…

“What’s going to happen to us?”

The headmistress laughed. “Well, Lorcan, we have a very strict policy about _that_ kind of behavior and, unfortunately, we aren’t very forgiving about our rules being broken. We’ve already spoken to both your parents and his.” 

“Can I ask why he wasn’t called in here with me?” 

For the first time, a hint of displeasure tightened her features. “Mr. Whitethorn’s parents are very well connected and they’ve agreed to certain terms so that we keep him here to continue reforming him. You, on the other hand, have no leverage.”

He knew how much they would love to _reform_ Rowan in light of this discovery. Lorcan knew he might even be getting the light end of this punishment. At least he’d be away from this hellhole. 

But Rowan was stuck here. 

The headmistress had no sympathy for the current breaking of his heart and her words were sharp now, the commands to be obeyed without protest. “Pack your bags, Salvaterre. The bus will be here to take you to the station in fifteen minutes.”

As if on cue, the door opened and the officer from before grabbed Lorcan by the arm and turned him around roughly. 

Lorcan yanked his arm out of his grasp and spat, “Don’t touch me.”

Before he gave either of them the satisfaction of seeing how broken he was, Lorcan stalked out of the office and back to the dorms. 

Every student was awake and ignoring the prefects who told them to get back in their rooms and Lorcan endured the curious stares as they parted to let him through the hallway and back into his room. Once inside, he slammed the door shut in their faces and braced himself against it, his breathing ragged. 

A warm hand pressed against his back and he heard Rowan say his name so quietly. 

“Lor?”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. A tear escaped but he ignored it as he turned and brushed past Rowan to get to his bunk. He knew that if he looked at him now, he would never be able to recover. 

“Lorcan, what happened?” 

Dropping onto his heels, Lorcan dragged out his trunk and started packing his various belongings, few as there were, into it. “They found out.”

The room was dead quiet. The others in their group, their Cadre, had known about him and Rowan though they had never told them in so many words. 

“They’re kicking you both out?” The indignation in Connall’s voice would have amused Lorcan any other day. Now it only made him grieve that he was being forced to leave his friends too.

“Just me. Rowan’s parents made a deal so he’s staying.”

“No. I won’t stay here without you.” Rowan’s voice broke as he spoke, knowing that his parents could damn well make him stay here no matter what he might want to the contrary. 

“You have to,” Lorcan snapped. He slammed his trunk shut before rising to his feet.

He wanted to leave without making this harder. But he couldn’t say goodbye to Rowan like that. So instead he waited, knowing that the clock was ticking down and he only had another minute before the disciplinary officer would be dragging him out, not knowing how to do this.

Rowan made the decision for him. He caught Lorcan’s chin in his fingers and tugged until Lorcan stared into his shining green eyes. “We’ll figure something out okay? So you can stay or I can leave or whatever we need to.” 

Determination shone from eyes he loved so much but Lorcan was more of a realist. So he smiled sadly and he knew Rowan saw his grim acceptance but before he could say anything, Lorcan leaned in to kiss him one last time. Rowan kissed him back fiercely before he pulled back to say, “Don’t fucking do this, Lor.”

He hadn’t been brave enough to say it before but knowing he probably wouldn’t see Rowan for a long time, Lorcan finally told him. 

“I love you so much, okay, Ro? I love you.”

Panic flared and Rowan said, “Don’t leave. _Please_ don’t go, Lorcan.” Tears streaked down his face and Lorcan reached out to wipe them away with his thumb. 

“I have to,” he whispered.

Before he got the chance to say anything else, the door opened and Lorcan got dragged away. “Break it up, Salvaterre. Time for you to go.” 

Lorcan had time to grab his trunk and throw one last glance at Rowan before he got manhandled out of their room. 

“Get the fuck off of him.” 

Rowan had followed, with the rest of their group close behind. 

The officer pushed Lorcan in front of him before letting go to turn around. Lorcan stopped and watched as Rowan tried to push past him only to get shoved back. “Back off, Whitethorn. You’re lucky you’re not getting expelled too.”

Rowan glared up at the man, completely unconcerned with the crowd of students watching and waiting for the drama to unfold in front of them. When the officer looked behind him and found Lorcan hadn’t moved, he ground out, “Salvaterre, if you’re not on that bus in sixty seconds, we will make sure Whitethorn never sees you again.”

Nodding at Gavriel, grim and knowing behind Rowan, Lorcan turned and pushed through the gawking boys to get to the entrance. Every step drove spikes into his heart, especially when he heard Rowan start shouting at Gavriel and the others as they held him back. At the door, he looked back once, to get a glimpse of his love fighting to get to him. And he knew that if Rowan was going to survive one more year at this damned school, he couldn’t stand in the way of that. 

So he turned and got on the bus waiting in the drive for him. He made his way to the back, slouching into the last row of benches to turn and look out the back window. 

Just as the bus started up and the uniformed driver shut the doors, a commotion at the front doors of the school caught Lorcan’s eyes. 

Rowan had thrown off the others and he rushed outside, clad only in his pajama pants and sleep shirt. His heart caught in his throat, Lorcan pressed his hand to the cold window, as if he could reach him even as the bus gained speed. 

He watched helplessly as Rowan fell to his knees in the gravel and stared after him, tears once again falling and his arms wrapped around himself. It was the last glimpse he had of him before the bus rounded a corner and he was gone. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, kudos, and commenting!
> 
> Feel free to come scream at me on tumblr @myfeyrelady!


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